My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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