Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
