You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
