Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Damn victory sex feels great
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
