don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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