The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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