so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
