Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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