Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
