I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
