I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
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