Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
