dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
