please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
