apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
