you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
