There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
