i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
