You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
