Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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