We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
i've created a new STD.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
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