Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
