So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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