Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
