How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
