i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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