hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
