Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
