Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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