then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
