Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
