Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
