Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
No subtext here. People are naked.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
