She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
