Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
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