Nicole vs. Life
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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