textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
