if i can run in heels then i can drive
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
