Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
