Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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