Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Did I show you my penis last night?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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