Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
