the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
