jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
