question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
