Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
