dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
this will be a night to untag.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
