It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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