If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
