her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
one might say we're banned from that church
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
